December 1, 2022

Gleanings

Kingdom Parenting

Gerald R. Chester, Ph.D.

In 2019 a family was traveling through the Geneva airport in Switzerland. The father found a piano and encouraged his fifteen-year-old son to play. The son resisted. He did not want to bother anyone and was insecure playing publicly, though he had taken piano lessons for many years. Reluctantly, he conceded and played a well-known classical piece. As he played, a crowd gathered and, when he finished, they signaled their delight with a resounding applause. The son had been unaware of their presence and surprised by their response. But it was a pivotal moment in his life. He realized that he had a passion for music.

Before age four, the young man had survived kidney cancer twice. He started learning to play the piano around age six. He was not dedicated to it, but his father saw potential. Between ages six and fifteen, the father saw signs that music would be his son’s calling. The father kept encouraging him until that day in 2019 in the airport in Geneva when the son realized that his life was going to revolve around music. Over the next few years, the son began to compose and direct music. All of this happened because of a parent guiding his son.¹

Parenting, properly done, plays a significant role in the development of children into their God-ordained callings. Unfortunately, many parents do not faithfully fulfill this role. In fact, the fallen condition of mankind means that parents, by default, will struggle to serve God’s purpose in the lives of their children because of their innate bias to humanism.

Humanists are prone to self-seeking, self-serving, and self-exalting. Consequently, humanistic parents use and abuse their children. The only way for parents to selflessly and sacrificially support God’s purpose in their children is through divine empowerment. While there is some common grace for this, it is limited. And the only way to overcome humanism with profundity is to be divinely empowered, which begins with regeneration by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the starting point for kingdom parenting—parenting in accordance with the will and ways of God based on a Christian worldview.

To see the distinctions between humanistic and kingdom parenting, consider three traits—thinking, actions, and results. These traits have a causal relationship—thinking produces actions and actions produce results. Below is a comparison of these traits.

Thinking

Humanists are self-oriented and self-serving, seeking their own will and ways to serve their own glory.

Christians are selfless, through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within them, and can see reality from God’s perspective (metaphysical awareness).

Actions

Humanists act in their own interests to serve their own purpose.

Christians act according to God’s interests to serve his purpose.

Results

Humanists reproduce humanists who are self-governed under themselves.

Christians reproduce Christians who are self-governed under God.

Because of the fallen condition of humanity, the default state of mankind is humanism. However, there is limited common grace that enables mankind, in this fallen condition, to survive for a time through obedience to some of God’s rudimentary principles. But common grace is limited. Note the words of Scripture:

Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them. (Hosea 14:9 ESV)

This text reveals that transgressors (the innate state of every unregenerate person) can walk in the ways of the Lord but will stumble. Furthermore, common grace is not salvific and cannot facilitate a robust capacity to function as a Christian parent. Only divine empowerment can enable a person to function with integrity within a Christian paradigm of parenting. A Christian view of parenting (kingdom parenting) is the purview of true Christians.

True Christians have been regenerated and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, they have the capacity to live as Christians, through the power of the Holy Spirit, but this does not mean they will. To live this way requires maturity in Christ, which is the process of sanctification—a synergistic process between the Holy Spirit and each Christian (Philippians 2:12−13). The process ebbs and flows. But as a Christian matures, the power of the Holy Spirit increasingly transforms and enables that person to progressively parent more Christianly.

The results of humanistic parenting are children who are pawns of the spirit of antichrist, marked by narcissism and hedonism and supported by the worship of mammon.

The results of Christian parenting are children who are servants of Christ marked by humility, submission, and teachability.

Humanism produces disorder, destruction, debt, physical death, and eternal death.

Christianity produces humility, submission, and teachability that leads to order, healthy growth, prosperity, and eternal life, through God’s grace working through the Holy Spirit’s power.

Which do you prefer—the results of humanism or Christianity?

I think most people, deep down, want the results of Christianity. But mankind, in its fallen condition, does not want Christ. The problem is that the only way to enjoy Christianity’s results is through Christ. Humanistic parents may claim they want the results of Christian parenting but will not be willing to pay the price. Therefore, only kingdom parenting can produce healthy results. The starting point for this is a commitment to Christ and a Christian worldview. There is no other way to produce order, healthy growth, prosperity, and life.

The standard of kingdom parenting is dauntingly high. Humans, in their own strength, can never accomplish it. Only those empowered by the Holy Spirit can. The best of Christian parents will not be perfect, however, they will produce far better fruit than humanistic parents.

Kingdom parents seek to follow the example of the apostle Paul when he talked about his pursuit of the high calling in Christ Jesus. Paul stated it most eloquently:

. . . one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13–14 CSB)

The promised prize is the completion of the sanctification process that occurs when a Christian’s practices fully correspond to his or her position in Christ. This is a daily maturing process throughout the life of a Christian and culminates when each Christian transitions into Christ's presence.

In the meantime, each Christian is responsible to be engaged in the sanctification process. Part of the process is raising children Christianly. This is kingdom parenting. Though no one will ever fully meet the Christian standard for parenting, we must continue to live following Paul’s example of pursuing the goal of our heavenly calling. May we have grace to so live.

Merry Christmas!

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¹ https://www.theepochtimes.com/dad-pushed-cancer-survivor-son-to-play-the-piano-at-an-airport-3-years-ago-now-the-teens-studying-to-be-a-composer_4722309.html.